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-   -   very funny (http://www.israelmilitary.net/showthread.php?t=10372)

janetnjohn 05-05-2009 01:09 PM

very funny
 
All aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air Defense Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' if they will be transiting Iranian airspace.

A guy overheard this conversation on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai. It's too good not to pass along.

http://www.israelmilitary.net/cid:32...@05052009-13e5
The conversation went like this...

Iranian Air Defence Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'


Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'

Air Defence Radar:
'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'

Aircraft:
'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'

Air Defence Radar:
(no response ... total silence)

Franklin. 06-24-2009 06:25 AM

That's a good one.

Franklin

MIWOMILITARY Lubliniec 07-03-2009 01:52 PM

Thats really good... :biggrin:

OldWalker 07-16-2009 02:17 PM

Holy dogs, really funny even if it sounds a lot as "American macho".

sky_warrior 07-31-2009 04:24 PM

hahaha it was great :D they sending f-5's :D

Mig-29 08-16-2009 03:01 AM

I once read in a book about a joke and who knows it may be a fact.

How many gears will you find in an Arab tank.

4 gears , one for forward and other 3 for reverse.

New Ron 08-16-2009 11:16 AM

lol no all 4 are for reverse. The 4th gear used to be to go forward but Yassir Arafat changed that....

janetnjohn 08-17-2009 09:42 AM

here's an old joke but here goes anyway (and sorry to all my Italian friends out there!)

Q. what is the shortest book in history?

A. the Italian book of war heroes

Mig-29 08-17-2009 02:26 PM

Here is another one and its just a joke not to degrade any community or country.

What do you call 100,000 Arabs with their hands up?

The army

Q. Why are the Arabs so afraid of war?
A. You would be too if you never won one in your history.


Q. What is the most useful thing in the Arab Army?
A. A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.

Kab 08-18-2009 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by janetnjohn (Post 50923)
here's an old joke but here goes anyway (and sorry to all my Italian friends out there!)

Q. what is the shortest book in history?

A. the Italian book of war heroes

Heh, that reminds me of another similar joke. Here it goes:

A general during Napoleonic times was sitting in his tent and camp going over maps and battle plans. His aide de camp comes in with urgent news.

"General! I have some important news. The Italians have entered the war, sir!" said the aide.

"Hmm, well then send 10 divisions to the front and defeat them." said the General calmly.

"Um, no sir. You don't understand. They joined the war on our side, sir." said the aide.

"Well, in that case send 20 divisions to bail them out immediately." the General said.

A side note...what the hell happened to them? These people used to be the Roman Republic/Empire. They didn't take crap from anyone. Seems they're more interested in drinking lattes outside or going to a nightclub and doing ecstasy nowadays. There's an interesting part in Tom Clancy's nonfiction book Shadow Warriors: Inside the Special Forces about the Italians and how they acted when the SEALs tried to get the terrorists involved with the Achille Lauro hijacking/murder. Not very flattering to the Italians.

janetnjohn 08-18-2009 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kab (Post 50965)
Heh, that reminds me of another similar joke. Here it goes:

A general during Napoleonic times was sitting in his tent and camp going over maps and battle plans. His aide de camp comes in with urgent news.

"General! I have some important news. The Italians have entered the war, sir!" said the aide.

"Hmm, well then send 10 divisions to the front and defeat them." said the General calmly.

"Um, no sir. You don't understand. They joined the war on our side, sir." said the aide.

"Well, in that case send 20 divisions to bail them out immediately." the General said.

A side note...what the hell happened to them? These people used to be the Roman Republic/Empire. They didn't take crap from anyone. Seems they're more interested in drinking lattes outside or going to a nightclub and doing ecstasy nowadays. There's an interesting part in Tom Clancy's nonfiction book Shadow Warriors: Inside the Special Forces about the Italians and how they acted when the SEALs tried to get the terrorists involved with the Achille Lauro hijacking/murder. Not very flattering to the Italians.

dunno, they were pretty handy a couple of hundred tears ago with all the local infighting-perhaps all their tough guys work for the mafia leaving the wanna be latin lovers and hairdressers to fight in the army:biggrin::biggrin:

favourite quote: (general) "follow me men, i'll be right behind you"!

janetnjohn 02-19-2010 02:27 PM


An Irish farmer named Seamus had an accident in his Land Rover.

In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning
Seamus..

'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'
asked the solicitor.

Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded
my favourite cow, Bessie, into the...'

'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted.. 'Just
answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the
accident,'I'm fine!'?'

Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was
driving down the road....'

The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to
establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the
police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the
accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please
tell him to simply answer the question..'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and
said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his
favourite cow, Bessie'.

Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had
just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was driving
her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop
sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch
and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and
didn't want to move.. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and
groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He
could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he
looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her
between the eyes.

Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at
me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'

'Now what the F..k would you have said?

janetnjohn 02-19-2010 02:31 PM

come on people! more funny stuff please!!!

air-on 02-20-2010 04:22 PM

The Captain's Red Coat
 
In the old days (before the US kicked ass in the Barbarian wars) one pirate captain always asked his first-mate to bring him his red coat every time they spotted a merchant vessel they would attack.
His grommet got curious and one day asked him why. He said "-If I am hurt, my blood will disappear in the red of my coat, so my men will not stop fighting because of my wound." The grommet was impressed by his courage, and spread the word among the sailors.
One day, the man watching on the highest mast shouted "-Three heavily armed British army vessels at starboard!" This day the captain said to his grommet, "-Quick, bring me my brown pants!"

Forums_Addict 02-20-2010 09:16 PM

How about this:

Type "French Military Victories" into Google and click the I'm Feeling Lucky button!

WABA 02-21-2010 12:29 AM

Irish hunter
 
An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He immediately dials 999.

Irishman: ''It's my wife! I've accidentally shot her, I've killed her!''

Operator: ''Please calm down Sir, can you first make sure she is actually dead!''

*click* *BANG*

Irishman: ''Okay, done that. What next.
:pat:

WABA 02-21-2010 12:35 AM

a good oldie
 
A GOOD OLDIE........




Three strangers strike up a conversation in the passenger loungein Bozeman , Montana , while waiting for their flights...

http://www.israelmilitary.net/cid:6D...5-2808DC4DAC73

One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer, another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana StateUniversity from the Middle East .



Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.



The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face, and lights a cigarette. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes.

http://www.israelmilitary.net/cid:06...1-A13A42E586A4


Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, 'At one time here... my people were many... but sadly, now we are few.'

http://www.israelmilitary.net/cid:EB...5-4534A3FCEA9E


The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward,
'Once my people were few,' he sneers, 'and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?'


http://www.israelmilitary.net/cid:68...1-20161BADD429


The cowboy removes his cigarette from his mouth... and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a slow smooth drawl . . .

http://www.israelmilitary.net/cid:15...8-0F81B2148742



'I reckon that's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet. But I do believe it's a-comin'.'

WABA 02-21-2010 12:39 AM

Don't mess with us old folks
 
SNOOTY RECEPTIONIST
http://www.israelmilitary.net/cid:0F...3-FBEFE9402701
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name...

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said,"YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'

The room erupted in applause!


DON'T MESS WITH US OLD FOLKS.

rafi 02-21-2010 12:50 AM

Best "clean" joke I have heard in years:


During a company’s recent password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacrame nto"



When asked why she had such a long password, the woman replied that she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.


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New Ron 02-21-2010 12:54 AM

Haha, good one rafi :)


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