very funny

[janetnjohn]

Originally Posted by WABA

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks ... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

hehehehe!!!!

my wife has this habit about going to bed and then asking a long list of requests.....can you get me a drink....can you get me this etc
so it started all over again last night, so as i gave her a drink i muttered 'i may as well wear a suit and call myself jeeves!'
as i walked out to the sound of her laughter i desperately tried to remember the name of the posh lady in the thunderbirds (lady penelope) but i couldnt quite remember her name. so instead i said that the next car she should buy should be a pink rolls royce, she looked impressed and said 'ooo thats sounds nice'
i waited for it to sink in and sure enough thirty seconds later as i walk into the bathroom she shouts 'and what am i supposed to be then? lady f*cking penelope!!!'
i couldn't stop chuckling for a good few minutes!

[Knaur]

Originally Posted by janetnjohn

hehehehe!!!!

my wife has this habit about going to bed and then asking a long list of requests.....can you get me a drink....can you get me this etc
so it started all over again last night, so as i gave her a drink i muttered 'i may as well wear a suit and call myself jeeves!'
as i walked out to the sound of her laughter i desperately tried to remember the name of the posh lady in the thunderbirds (lady penelope) but i couldnt quite remember her name. so instead i said that the next car she should buy should be a pink rolls royce, she looked impressed and said 'ooo thats sounds nice'
i waited for it to sink in and sure enough thirty seconds later as i walk into the bathroom she shouts 'and what am i supposed to be then? lady f*cking penelope!!!'
i couldn't stop chuckling for a good few minutes!

Well, congratulate her on making it to the 1000th post in this thread

[janetnjohn]

cool! no wonder my ribs hurt.......so much fun and laughter!

[New Ron]

Why did the Turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken!

[New Ron]

Originally Posted by Knaur

Well, congratulate her on making it to the 1000th post in this thread

I second that!

[New Ron]

I found this site, its both political and chicken crossed the road jokes! Pure entertainment you will laugh out loud again and again!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Jerry Falwell


Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side.

Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

Ralph Nader


The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.

The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

George W. Bush
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.

The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Saddam Hussein

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping nerve gas on it.



http://www.squidoo.com/chicken-cross...gn=framebuster

[janetnjohn]

Originally Posted by New Ron

I found this site, its both political and chicken crossed the road jokes! Pure entertainment you will laugh out loud again and again!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Jerry Falwell


Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side.

Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

Ralph Nader


The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.

The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

George W. Bush
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.

The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Saddam Hussein

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping nerve gas on it.



http://www.squidoo.com/chicken-cross...gn=framebuster

nice one!!

[janetnjohn]

this one is for Knaur

[New Ron]

Originally Posted by janetnjohn

nice one!!

Thanks.

Here is something that made me LOL!

[janetnjohn]

Originally Posted by New Ron

Thanks.

Here is something that made me LOL!

so very true! LOL

[janetnjohn]

father jack!

[Knaur]

Originally Posted by janetnjohn

this one is for Knaur

[janetnjohn]

Originally Posted by Knaur

thats a neat trick! sheep intercourse and motocross combined....whatever next!!!!

[WABA]

How To Stop Church Gossip

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals,
kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities,
but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member,

of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there
would know what he was doing!

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing..

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house,
walked home .... and left it there all night.

(You gotta love Frank!)

[janetnjohn]

Originally Posted by WABA

How To Stop Church Gossip

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals,

kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities,
but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member,

of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there

would know what he was doing!

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing..

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house,

walked home .... and left it there all night.

(You gotta love Frank!)

hehehehe!!! serve her right!

[Knaur]

That Frank fella sounds like someone after my own heart!

[janetnjohn]

oh yeah

[Knaur]

Originally Posted by janetnjohn

oh yeah

Mate of mine said when UK was a Kingdom, it was ruled by a King, when it was the British Empire, it was run by an Emperor......ya'll are a Country now of course

[janetnjohn]

Originally Posted by Knaur

Mate of mine said when UK was a Kingdom, it was ruled by a King, when it was the British Empire, it was run by an Emperor......ya'll are a Country now of course

how very dare you!!!!! that is a slight on our madge!!
but does it mean that seems as we're ruled by a queen that we're all a bunch of queens

[janetnjohn]

look at this recent photo of assad and one of his generals.......i knew france and syria were tight once upon a time but this looks as if old charles de gaulle put it about a bit as this looks like his long lost son!