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  #1001  
Old 08-01-2012, 07:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WABA View Post
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks ... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.
hehehehe!!!!

my wife has this habit about going to bed and then asking a long list of requests.....can you get me a drink....can you get me this etc
so it started all over again last night, so as i gave her a drink i muttered 'i may as well wear a suit and call myself jeeves!'
as i walked out to the sound of her laughter i desperately tried to remember the name of the posh lady in the thunderbirds (lady penelope) but i couldnt quite remember her name. so instead i said that the next car she should buy should be a pink rolls royce, she looked impressed and said 'ooo thats sounds nice'
i waited for it to sink in and sure enough thirty seconds later as i walk into the bathroom she shouts 'and what am i supposed to be then? lady f*cking penelope!!!'
i couldn't stop chuckling for a good few minutes!
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Passage Isaiah 62

I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


"I ask then, has God rejected His people? By no means! God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. For the gifts and call of God are irrevocable."
(Romans 11:1,2,29)
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  #1002  
Old 08-01-2012, 01:21 PM
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Originally Posted by janetnjohn View Post
hehehehe!!!!

my wife has this habit about going to bed and then asking a long list of requests.....can you get me a drink....can you get me this etc
so it started all over again last night, so as i gave her a drink i muttered 'i may as well wear a suit and call myself jeeves!'
as i walked out to the sound of her laughter i desperately tried to remember the name of the posh lady in the thunderbirds (lady penelope) but i couldnt quite remember her name. so instead i said that the next car she should buy should be a pink rolls royce, she looked impressed and said 'ooo thats sounds nice'
i waited for it to sink in and sure enough thirty seconds later as i walk into the bathroom she shouts 'and what am i supposed to be then? lady f*cking penelope!!!'
i couldn't stop chuckling for a good few minutes!
Well, congratulate her on making it to the 1000th post in this thread
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It is absolutely true in war, were other things equal, that numbers, whether men, shells, bombs, etc, would be supreme. Yet it is also absolutely true that other things are never equal and can never be equal - Maj.Gen. J. F. C. Fuller

At that time, I will search out and destroy all of the nations who have come against Jerusalem - Zechariah 12:9
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  #1003  
Old 08-01-2012, 01:24 PM
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cool! no wonder my ribs hurt.......so much fun and laughter!
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Passage Isaiah 62

I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


"I ask then, has God rejected His people? By no means! God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. For the gifts and call of God are irrevocable."
(Romans 11:1,2,29)
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  #1004  
Old 08-01-2012, 02:28 PM
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Why did the Turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
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No extreme is good. Neither in religion, nor in science.

"If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence.. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel."
~ Golda Meir~


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  #1005  
Old 08-01-2012, 02:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knaur View Post
Well, congratulate her on making it to the 1000th post in this thread
I second that!
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Shalom to everyone!
No extreme is good. Neither in religion, nor in science.

"If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence.. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel."
~ Golda Meir~


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  #1006  
Old 08-01-2012, 02:35 PM
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I found this site, its both political and chicken crossed the road jokes! Pure entertainment you will laugh out loud again and again!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


Jerry Falwell


Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side.

Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

Ralph Nader


The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.

The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

George W. Bush
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.

The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Saddam Hussein

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping nerve gas on it.



http://www.squidoo.com/chicken-cross...gn=framebuster
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Shalom to everyone!
No extreme is good. Neither in religion, nor in science.

"If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence.. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel."
~ Golda Meir~


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  #1007  
Old 08-01-2012, 02:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by New Ron View Post
I found this site, its both political and chicken crossed the road jokes! Pure entertainment you will laugh out loud again and again!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Jerry Falwell


Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side.

Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

Ralph Nader


The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.

The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

George W. Bush
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.

The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Saddam Hussein

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping nerve gas on it.



http://www.squidoo.com/chicken-cross...gn=framebuster
nice one!!
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Passage Isaiah 62

I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


"I ask then, has God rejected His people? By no means! God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. For the gifts and call of God are irrevocable."
(Romans 11:1,2,29)
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  #1008  
Old 08-01-2012, 02:47 PM
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this one is for Knaur
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File Type: jpg sheeps.jpg (21.2 KB, 3 views)
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Passage Isaiah 62

I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


"I ask then, has God rejected His people? By no means! God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. For the gifts and call of God are irrevocable."
(Romans 11:1,2,29)
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  #1009  
Old 08-01-2012, 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by janetnjohn View Post
nice one!!
Thanks.

Here is something that made me LOL!
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Shalom to everyone!
No extreme is good. Neither in religion, nor in science.

"If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence.. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel."
~ Golda Meir~


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  #1010  
Old 08-02-2012, 06:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by New Ron View Post
Thanks.

Here is something that made me LOL!
so very true! LOL
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Passage Isaiah 62

I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


"I ask then, has God rejected His people? By no means! God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. For the gifts and call of God are irrevocable."
(Romans 11:1,2,29)
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  #1011  
Old 08-03-2012, 07:55 AM
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father jack!
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Passage Isaiah 62

I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


"I ask then, has God rejected His people? By no means! God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. For the gifts and call of God are irrevocable."
(Romans 11:1,2,29)
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  #1012  
Old 08-03-2012, 09:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by janetnjohn View Post
this one is for Knaur
__________________
It is absolutely true in war, were other things equal, that numbers, whether men, shells, bombs, etc, would be supreme. Yet it is also absolutely true that other things are never equal and can never be equal - Maj.Gen. J. F. C. Fuller

At that time, I will search out and destroy all of the nations who have come against Jerusalem - Zechariah 12:9
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  #1013  
Old 08-03-2012, 11:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knaur View Post
thats a neat trick! sheep intercourse and motocross combined....whatever next!!!!
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Passage Isaiah 62

I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


"I ask then, has God rejected His people? By no means! God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. For the gifts and call of God are irrevocable."
(Romans 11:1,2,29)
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  #1014  
Old 08-05-2012, 10:57 PM
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How To Stop Church Gossip

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals,
kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities,
but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member,

of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there
would know what he was doing!

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing..


Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house,
walked home .... and left it there all night.

(You gotta love Frank!)



















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  #1015  
Old 08-06-2012, 07:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WABA View Post












How To Stop Church Gossip



Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals,
kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities,
but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member,

of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.



She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there
would know what he was doing!

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing..



Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house,
walked home .... and left it there all night.

(You gotta love Frank!)




































hehehehe!!! serve her right!
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Passage Isaiah 62

I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


"I ask then, has God rejected His people? By no means! God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. For the gifts and call of God are irrevocable."
(Romans 11:1,2,29)
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  #1016  
Old 08-06-2012, 09:58 AM
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That Frank fella sounds like someone after my own heart!
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It is absolutely true in war, were other things equal, that numbers, whether men, shells, bombs, etc, would be supreme. Yet it is also absolutely true that other things are never equal and can never be equal - Maj.Gen. J. F. C. Fuller

At that time, I will search out and destroy all of the nations who have come against Jerusalem - Zechariah 12:9
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  #1017  
Old 08-06-2012, 12:41 PM
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oh yeah
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Passage Isaiah 62

I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


"I ask then, has God rejected His people? By no means! God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. For the gifts and call of God are irrevocable."
(Romans 11:1,2,29)
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  #1018  
Old 08-06-2012, 07:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by janetnjohn View Post
oh yeah
Mate of mine said when UK was a Kingdom, it was ruled by a King, when it was the British Empire, it was run by an Emperor......ya'll are a Country now of course
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It is absolutely true in war, were other things equal, that numbers, whether men, shells, bombs, etc, would be supreme. Yet it is also absolutely true that other things are never equal and can never be equal - Maj.Gen. J. F. C. Fuller

At that time, I will search out and destroy all of the nations who have come against Jerusalem - Zechariah 12:9
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  #1019  
Old 08-07-2012, 07:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Knaur View Post
Mate of mine said when UK was a Kingdom, it was ruled by a King, when it was the British Empire, it was run by an Emperor......ya'll are a Country now of course
how very dare you!!!!! that is a slight on our madge!!
but does it mean that seems as we're ruled by a queen that we're all a bunch of queens
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Passage Isaiah 62

I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


"I ask then, has God rejected His people? By no means! God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. For the gifts and call of God are irrevocable."
(Romans 11:1,2,29)
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  #1020  
Old 08-08-2012, 01:19 PM
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look at this recent photo of assad and one of his generals.......i knew france and syria were tight once upon a time but this looks as if old charles de gaulle put it about a bit as this looks like his long lost son!
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Passage Isaiah 62

I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


"I ask then, has God rejected His people? By no means! God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. For the gifts and call of God are irrevocable."
(Romans 11:1,2,29)
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